Whether is girl or guy, we sort of have our way to profile people at work, who you are interested in to weed out those that you did not like, toxic working relationships and stick with those people that you think are most compatible for you.
Unless you are not looking for a long term commitment in the relationship, whether the guy or gal is the right marriage fit is an important consideration.
I asked some of my peers,both male and female about that VAGUE rule of thumb why he or she makes him or her a keeper and they mostly centered around feelings, the potential of the persons human capital, how the person passes with the family.
The criteria of money didn’t get pass the jobs area.
The uncomfortable money metric
There are some topics that are thoroughly uncomfortable to bring up. One area is NET WORTH.
Money is not everything in the evaluation. You can look pass a person in a job that doesn’t pay well now.
However, NET WORTH, in my opinion talks about discipline, responsibility and life prioritization.
NET WORTH for the uninitiated is your TOTAL ASSETS – TOTAL LIABILITIES.
If it is negative, that means your net worth is negative, or the person owe the world more than what he owns.
If your other half have a SOUND life prioritization, decisions taken put them in a good position. This is not just a one time thingy. Consistently good net worth requires DISCIPLINE to keep.
All this shows he or she is leading a RESPONSIBLE life.
Not sure about you guys and gals, but I thought that is a rather important determinant.
The problem why this is seldom asked is because money is one of the ULTIMATE strip. You let your other half know about how much money you have, and they may
- ask you to pay for all their meals
- have a higher expectation of what kind of gifts they SHOULD be receiving
But I guess if you want integrity and truth in the partner, that is one of the best ways to be open isn’t it.
Using HDB Purchase as a starting point
So what are the ways to get to the bottom of finding out their net worth.
The good news is perhaps you do not have to find out about everything. You can just find out the liabilities.
You can purchase a Credit Report of your Credit Rating for $6 one time from the Credit Bureau of Singapore.
That will tell you a profile of your liabilities:
Both do not have to go through the process of tabulating messy data and bills, but jump straight to a document for communication.
If you think this is silly, apparently there are research done in this area:
New research from The Brookings Institute, The Federal Reserve Board, and UCLA shows that one of the best predictors of relationship longevity is … your credit score.
Credit scores predict relationship longevity in two key ways:
- Higher Is Better.People with higher credit scores are both more likely to get into committed relationships and more likely to stay in them over time.
- Similar Is Better.People who have similar credit scores are more likely to have relationships that last. For example, if you have a credit score of 750 and your prospective partner had a score of 450, you are several times more likely to break up within the first two years of living together than if your scores differ by fewer than 75 points.
Why are credit scores so eerily effective at predicting relationship outcomes? The authors posit that your credit score is a proxy for trustworthiness and commitment to obligations. – Psychology Today
What this means and do not mean
I think to be clear, if the report puts he or she in a bad light, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over, but that there are things that needs addressing for the long term.
Doing budgeting and having a budget is a communication with oneself and others, and so a credit report such as this is also a communication tool.
Discussing about money is difficult for most people, but if this cannot be discussed now before marriage, will that non-communication breeds to non-communication in other similar touchy area?
There are many marriage prep counselling classes out there, and it seems to be more prevalent in churches. I wonder if they would get the spouses to discuss about their credit situation.
What about you guys and gals? Do you think discussing about our individual demons such as debts is never a good idea?
HatTip to my friend Eunice for bring my attention to this.