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Being Stubbornly Closed Minded Prevents Relationship Healing and Managing Your Wealth

5 days ago, I listened to a podcast on how a lady coaches the psychological part of traders’ game.

What captivate my attention was not the lessons we can take away, if I was a trader but an important part of communication.

We tend to have a close mind to some things.

And that is hindering how we live our lives.

When you have a challenging relationship with your parents

The lady brought up a personal example that I find I could relate to. It was on her difficult relationship with her father.

It became rather challenging when she had to visit her father during Christmas. Its not a good feeling driving such a long distance to a gathering, knowing that eventually the two of them will end up having big disagreements.

Her mind was closed to entertained even the thought that a better relationship is possible with her father.

She decided that as a coach, she has to buy her own bullshit, first and foremost.

And she decided to be open and see where is the problem.

It gave her a realization that the problem with her father was that, he didn’t know how to be a good father.

This perceptive change allow her to find the avenue to improve the relationship, by ‘educating’ her father to be a better father.

They have grown closer since.

Why did this one struck a chord with me? 

Cause my relationship with my dad was awkward, but I managed to figure things out.  It is the same way as well.

You have to open your heart and brain to receive, communicate then things might start moving.

And this problem is so common.

I bet you can cite some examples yourself.

When you have a closed mind towards Sales based, or Propaganda Wealth Articles

Being closed minded will eventually be detrimental to your wealth.

For a long time, due to my family experience with property, I harbor a negative bias towards property investment. The result was that I missed out on a great property run that made a lot of people money.

There will always be some things that you shut your brain from.

A week ago, there was this article in the Straits Times.

It is the last part of a 3 part series that shares with the readers how they can better optimize their retirement plan. The chief planner happens to be Providend, which is also an advertiser on this blog.

These articles was shared on various discussion mediums and one of them linked to the article.

The most up-voted comment was one where the reader said he stopped reading at “A year after buying their home – a two-storey corner terrace house…”

Bloggers like myself learn to optimize our titles and if your title is Live on 10k a month, its going to attract a lot of readers.

But I realize what turned off a majority of us, is that these profile do not match what we are used to, or to put it another way, not our level.

The couple:

  • owns a boutique property agency
  • holds 70% of their net worth in real estate which provided cash flow
  • holds stocks, bonds and unit trust
  • has an SRS account
  • holds CPF (not surprising)

This family is rich and many of us would think a display of wealth is ostentatious. I even have friends who switch off their processing brain when they see that the person got rich by properties.

Not just that, the article is on a topic of optimizing your wealth for de-accumulation.

Most of us didn’t even finish accumulating wealth, why should we be interested about de-accumulation!

Having a Closed Mind will not let you see a Better Path

You could hate reading about the rich, but you cannot deny that, you wish to move at least a little over there.

And the first step to take, is to pay more attention to how they do things differently and whether this is applicable to your life.

In the Straits Times article, while it can be very promotional, there are some good personal questions that can generate from it:

  1. How different will the planning for people with higher net worth differ from your lower net worth
  2. Would the assets you put your net worth into be as complicated as the couple? Would you contain only 1 single financial instrument?
  3. Do you look at your cash flow for retirement to be 2 levels, in their case $5000 and $10,000? What would your own level be? How do you derive your own requirements for cash flow in retirement
  4. As a person with a different circumstance, would I really need $1.9 mil to retire?
  5. If you are so rich, how does CPF Life complements the plan?

The first step to further improving a situation is to be open to new concepts and critically think if they are applicable or just not useful.

Mending relationships and building wealth, is sometimes about shifting our values and beliefs.

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