One of the bigger problems that I have growing up was in the conflict with my dad.
You can attribute that to partly adolescent insolence and immaturity but there were a lot of cases that he mistook that I refused to carry out some chore because I was lazy.
Some times I was lazy, but a lot of times… I really do not know how to do that thing!
Like how to wash the clothes when the washing machine is just stting there for me to use? The reason why I procastinate to do it, or refuse to do it was because… the washing machine does not come with a user manual.
I do not know how to use it.
The problem is I did not tell him I do not know how to do it, and he assumed that I know.
This could very well be resolved by showing me how to do it.
The tough part of transiting from being a poly kid and a junior college kid to becoming a young adult is that people expect that after school you become a young adult and are fully equipped with all you need to know about being a successful young adult.
I came across this podcast that resonated with me and I wrote about it over at Providend. You can read 3 Areas to Help Your Youth Ease into Adulthood More Successfully here.
I like the article because it comes from not a researcher, but someone who have been helping parents who have a frustrating time with their kids.
He identify 3 main areas parents can better communicate or do to help their kids ease into adulthood better.
The 3 areas he shared that parents can help work their kids on are:
- Be more responsible by asking them to do the mundane, administrative things well. Provide instructions to them
- Be more of a consultant rather than a supervisor. Your kid is already 17 years old. You cannot use the style of parenting more suitable for a child
- Be more relevant. They are leaving a structured world for a very unstructured world. You need to make them see that in the past, you have struggled as well and it is not special to struggle when you are transiting to adulthood.
For those of us who are young adults, you can read it and see if you identify with some of the problems Mark McConville shared.
For those readers with kids and struggling with them, let me know if this is of any help.
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