There is always a tipping point to when someone puts themselves on a path of healing. Once they are on that path, they abandon their old ways as they sees their situation in a new light.
My problem was “never a big problem”
As a financial writer providing a perspective on how diverse groups of people can improve their wealth situation and to be able to be financially secure, I faced much stigma because I was looked upon to “not have their problems”. Due to that, I can never understand what they are going through.
I never had a mortgage to worry about. I do not have to worry about sky high living prices. I do not have to juggle the mortgage with the cost of raising kids and a spouse that are not aligned with money.
I was never at my limits as they were. And therefore, I would never understand how they feel and how they can get out of it.
My problem was never big enough that I have a problem solving.
My big problem
Well I do have have a problem that may be big enough. But I think I had it easier since I am a guy. Most folks have a skin problem called eczema and it can be a problem for parents and fully grown adults.
I have a variation of that called psoriasis since 15 and since then now its covered 70% of my body.
A guy handles it much better since looks is a lesser problem and my realization that confidence can come in different ways then how you look.
Even with that knowledge, you have to live with the self conscious nature of how your family members react to your problem, how your relatives react to it, how you colleagues, clients, and friends to it. And its not a very fun thing dealing with the stares in public transport.
In a 25th Oct Sunday Times Article, a survey was published on how others perceived psoriasis sufferers:
It was a novel way of conducting a survey. People with psoriasis, a condition that causes flaking skin, went to train stations and bus stops to ask strangers if they would shake hands with them, or eat food they had prepared.
Another question was whether they would let their children play with others with the condition.
Around half of the 340 respondents replied “No” to these questions, despite the fact that psoriasis is not contagious.
It is a problem that I have been trying to solve for the better part of 15 years going. And while there are some solutions that worked for others very well, it is rare they worked for me.
So your hopes are brought up and then crash down over a few iterations.
The high level solutions to big problems
I do not know about you, but I felt that is a big enough problem. If I were to evaluate, I thought solving a debt of $100,000 is an easier problem!
At least someone tells you to put 40% of your income to pay down debt and eat instant noodles for 3 meals, you would move the needle!
Whether it is:
- Losing a massive amount of weight
- Gaining a sizable amount of weight to be healthy
- Not getting into debt
- Getting out of massive debt
- Creating a business out of nothing
- Getting a job when everyone have cut you off
There are similarities to solving those problems.
On a high level, I always say they boil down to how well you do the following 4 things:
- Your motivations / determination
- Building up knowledge and Wisdom
- Building Systems / Processes / Habits
- Having a positive environment
It is my experience that you have to have a combination of these things, unless you have overwhelming of one thing.
What I came across recently was ignited by an overwhelming number 4.
The 300 KG Man and His Story
Jesse’s story is very interesting to me because I felt that he has a rather big problem. It is so big that most would just give up instead of taking any action, even though you know you have a problem.
That really sounds like a financial debt situation.
Jesse is 28 year old and he weights 300 kg or 700 pounds. There is not slim, there is overweight and then there is Jesse.
It got to a situation that he couldn’t fit into his bath, SO HE HASN’T BATH FOR 1 YEAR.
Needless to say he hasn’t been outside for a long while since he couldn’t walk much without getting tired.
So he decides to do something stupid one day:
I decided to try to get a rise out of people who lived a lifestyle the complete opposite of my own: bodybuilders. I signed up on a bodybuilding forum with an absurd username and posted a thread called “Ask the fattest man on this site anything”. I posted pictures like the one below to prove my massive weight.
And he thought that he would get a fun out of the group of body conscious folks ridiculing him, insulting someone at the polar opposite of the spectrum.
What surprised him was that they were more encouraging. They don’t think he has reached the point of no return and instead, provided many useful systems that he could do to get on the bath of becoming better, whatever that means.
At a certain stage, he tipped over. He thought maybe this would somehow work.
So he started trying out.
And for me this was a crazy journey due to his profile when he started this journey.
If we were to distilled what worked it is that he gained small SUCCESS along the way. Without seeing success, you wouldn’t create enough motivations to find a reason to do it.
- The body building forum was a positive environment that incept the possibility the impossible was doable. And the environment that encourages him along the way
- The folks in the forum provided the knowledge and perhaps the wisdom of what will create results
- They also provided the systems and routines that he undertakes to make life better
- With the results of small weight loss, it creates motivations to stay on course
It debunks the theory that you need motivation to start. In this case, friends and peers tipped him over.
The dude is so big size that by himself he would think any workout is out of the question. It takes folks with some knowledge to know quantitatively flopping around doesn’t work for us, but probably moves the needle for him.
Similarly, folks are surprised when I tell them the wonders of automating paying themselves first can do wonders, or that they can gain a 100% gain if they do not spend on what they really do not enjoyed.
My usual dinner that night would have been 8 chicken quesadillas and an entire pack of cheesy flavored rice, so instead, that night, I had 7 quesadillas and only half the pack of cheesy rice.
We always can’t reach the ultimate goals because we looked down on even the smallest change as not going to move it enough. Just like Jesse, if you do not start saving $100 dollars you will never move the needle to reach $100,000.
Here is him narrating his story. It is worth a watch. On how motivation may not be the starting point and what a good virtual environment could do startling results.
Are you going to get started on your daunting goal?
I believe no one is perfect, and that we each have something that, by ourself, we will not be able to solved. Somehow we will have to chip away the problem in smart ways.
Jesse gave up on himself but by a stroke of luck, he found an environment that saved him.
If you have friends who have some difficulty that they are finding it hard to solve, could you help them by being that good environment?
I don’t have much knowledge in multi disciplines to solve all the world’s problems. I continue to write here in the hopes that I create a good environment to promote the importance of good money management, wealth management and a cleaner way of living.
It is what my other bloggers sought to do as well, to create a vast social environment to help folks with their money.
If you have friends who are in need of knowledge and wisdom in wealth management, do share our articles around, or be equipped well so that you can help them as well.
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