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You think you have little needs but your needs are too much!

My friend from FFNow gave me a very nice quote:

“How happy a man is, is not by how much he has, but how little he needs”

I thought that is largely true. It translates back to the following:

Reality is something you can control to a certain extend but part of it is up in the air.

Expectations on the other hand can be controlled. Lower it  and anything unexpectedly more will provide more joy.

Here is a good example that went viral recently of a Dad showing extreme happiness on finding out his son got a C for Math. Right expectations can be pretty amazing. Had he expect an A, we won’t have such a nice reaction:

When low expectations are actually rather high

There are much dissatisfaction in many folks when they don’t realize that the expectations are rather lofty:

  1. You pick up an investment book, feel so empowered to take control of your finances, and starts projecting that your target per year for your investments is 15% per annum. The reality is that you are bloody average, and an average return is only closer to 7%, and that is assuming there is no cost friction. The reality is that you are going to end up with 3-4% returns and that will make you very sad
  2. Due to your financial literacy enrichment, you strive for a target of saving 1 mil by the age of 35 years old. The reality is that your low earnings capability only allows you to save 400 per month and that you have to take a lot of risk for you to hit 1 mil at that age. The thought of not meeting  your goals make you very sad
  3. My colleague once told me of her close friend who have a very low expectation of the ideal man for her: Earns greater than 4000, have a car and a condo, yearly able to bring the family on a holiday and buys her a branded bag for her annual birthday. The reality is that this is achievable, but not many men will fit that criteria or be willing to do something like that and she  ends up feeling sad not meeting her  Mr Right

My good friend used to tell me  some folks can only rationalize their actions are correct when they are incapable of logically reflect whether they are right or wrong, or in this case whether their expectations are logically low.

And the sooner you realize it’s a futile attempt to convince the better for your sanity.

Probably another old  viral  video, unfortunately only in Chinese but illustrating how destructive rationalization can become:

So have you met or heard folks  who think their expectations are low when in reality its not?

Kyith

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Snoopy168

Tuesday 29th of October 2013

Realistic expectation. Very grey & hard to define, especially when a lot of youngsters are born with a silver spoon (and toys), not having to climb up from the ground level or gets their hands dirty from "field work". Theoretically useful, practically useless. Of course, i don't expect a CPA to be able to repair that dead power generator, but to refill the toner of the copier-printer and perhaps clean up after using the pantry.... hmm

I support the guy's stand of ditching this girl. Unreasonable demand & expects the guy to be a slave. (hmmm, sounded like a married men's woes to me).

Kyith

Wednesday 30th of October 2013

you start wondering if the new generation most are like such characters

Kyith

Wednesday 30th of October 2013

you start wondering if the new generation most are like such characters

Spectra of Life

Saturday 26th of October 2013

Hi, first of all thanks for sharing. I do have a question in mind: How do you know if you are having enough and not expecting too much?

For example, if a fresh graduate from local university is looking for his/her first job, how much should he or she be expecting? Is earning $2000/mth enough? or should he/she expect $3000/mth? I do find that sometimes our expectation is driven by our cost of living. Do you agree?

Jomel

Saturday 26th of October 2013

It depends on the industry that the person is in, and a comparison of the salary that other graduates in that line is getting.

The civil service will take into account inflation rates to adjust their salaries, but hardly would private corporation. As Kyith says, it is subjective.

Anyway, Kyith this is a refreshing post. Other than pursuing gains, sometimes it is better to take a step back and reflect on what we already have gained.

Kyith

Saturday 26th of October 2013

Hi, the answer to this question is rather subjective. There should be a certain sensibilities to expectations. whether to the persons own good or not

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