I came across this really nice reader story on Get Rich Slowly that I would like to share with everyone.
It is about how a wife who is better educated is supporting her husband to pursue an education to better equipped himself to get a career.
I grew up in a semi-happy, semi-miserable household. My mom and dad fought a lot about money. Later in life, I realized it was because my dad didn’t ever felt successful in the career — or 20 careers — that he’s held over the years. He didn’t have a formal education after high school, but my mom has her BA and just recently added another degree into the mix. My parents have been married for over 28 years, and when I look back at my childhood, I realize that my mom did most of the raising and was always steady, while my dad was off trying something new. He still hasn’t found his “niche”, and I doubt he ever will. (My dad has doubts, too.)
I didn’t want this to be my life. I want to be a provider — but I want an equal provider in my spouse. Although I know that we’ll probably fight about money, at least I won’t have to worry about him feeling less worthy. I want an equal. I want to disqualify education and money as “argument” topics. I want to have a good marriage to someone who is happy with his career and happy with his life. This education, for my husband, will give him a stronghold in both.
Wife earning more than the husband
Much of the role of breadwinner have change with women being able to take control career wise and not being seen as homemakers and child bearers.
I do see more instances where the husband earns less than the wife, and the guys take it differently. Some see this as a simple change in responsibilities and is able to be accommodating to it. While others are not able to accept the fact that they earn less than their spouse or do form an inferior complex because they are lower educated as compare to their spouse.
In many cases it never ends up well.
Constant studying and improving
I guess not just in Singapore but around the world people are constantly upgrading their skills. But when one embark on a massive higher education, there needs to be a lot of communication , planning and understanding within the family to make it work.
One has to create enough savings to ensure that if you quit to study, you have enough to last for that 1-2 year duration with that absence of working compensation.
It is never going to be an easy journey, but is the reward worth it? In Singapore, having a degree looks like a must, but if everyone had a degree, how much can we truly moved up?
It becomes worse when the country have such a policy that brings in cheaper foreign talents to make sure your salary is low, it really depreciates the value of higher education.
In the end, it is still a constant rat race to do what you must to give your family a better life.